013: The DaxxyCo Gig

written & directed by Julian Mundy
produced by Julian Mundy, Mischa Stanton & Ian McQuown
sound design by Mischa Stanton
[BACK]

[INTRO – “Wild Plain”]

>> Scene 01:

[SFX: The StarTripper moves through slipspace.]

FESTON: Well hello travelers! Welcome back to StarTripper!! So nice to say that again. Ugh! My name is Feston Pyxis, here with my new co-host, Serena the Sapphire Blade!

SERENA: Oh kak that, you shut up. You shut up right now.

FESTON: I have to get it out before we start! Today, we are coming to you en route to Ryveck-9, home to one of the main manufacturing plants for DaxxyCo! So excited for my first ride-along… if you don’t count Rannitar that is. Hey Serena, care to explain the mission for the folks at home?

SERENA: We’re supposed to be bodyguards for some VIP, one of the DaxxyCo president’s kids, while they all tour the facility. So if we screw up, we’ll be lucky to just lose out on a payday! 

PROXY: Slipspace field dispersing. We are approaching our destination in the Ryveck system.

[SFX: Exiting slipspace.]

FESTON: How’d you even get this gig? Do you have, like, connections or whatever with DaxxyCo?

[MUSIC: airy, floating]

SERENA: It came in through the Circle. I’ve explained that to you before, right?

FESTON: Oh yeah, I remember, hang on. You’re an outrider, which isn’t exactly a mercenary, or bounty hunter, or a hero like Amaran Best.

SERENA: That was uncalled for. I thought you were nice.

FESTON: I am! I thought it annoyed you! 

PROXY: If I may: The Circle of Vatra was founded on the planet of Arsylla, uniting its various factions and ethnic groups with the same chance to leave a mark on the galaxy. It seems to share characteristics with the monastic orders and knights-errant of many planets, providing training and accommodation to its members. However, it is rare for such orders to disperse across the galaxy. Despite their influence, Vatran adherents do not actively recruit or indoctrinate beyond the reach of Arsylla itself.

SERENA: We’re peace-keepers, not missionaries, and we try to make unbiased decisions so we can restore balance wherever we go. When you’re a stranger somewhere new, local context matters, right? You know this. Sometimes that means taking a corporate gig if you want to keep eating. Just behave yourself while we’re on the clock.

FESTON: Uggggh, I promise to act like a total professional. Witness the return of Office Feston! Responsible, safe, and booooooring.

SERENA: [zero confidence] I’m brimming with confidence.

FESTON: Haha! Hey Prox, do we have landing clearance yet?

PROXY: Transmitting our docking key to Ryveck Port Authority now. Please keep seated and prepare for landing.

[SFX: The ship’s computer transmits codes and pings back Affirmative from ground control. The ship descends through atmo, breaking the clouds and swooping in to land on the docking ring.]

SERENA: Look, are you sure you’re ready for this?

FESTON: Hey, you’re just nervous because last time was a total disaster.

SERENA: I… I’m going to leave now, before I strangle you. Proxy, please open up!

PROXY: Certainly, Serena. Best of luck out there!

SERENA: Thank you! So sweet. Unlike some people!

[SFX: Serena exits the flight deck. The rear hatch opens, allowing her down the gangway.]

[MUSIC: upbeat, bouncy]

FESTON: Not in a teasing mood, I guess. But I’d be on edge too if I had to negotiate a contract with this crowd. Some of you might already be familiar with the DaxxyCo brand. Not just because I once drank one of their “health tonics,” and then got thrown out of a public event. It’s a big company, and they only ever seem to get bigger. Once they hit chain department stores, the ball really started rolling, and let’s say they got pretty aggressive about it.

PROXY: Food and beverage options; household appliances and cookware; personal and home defense solutions. The catalog is substantial, and going through it all would be dull programming.

FESTON: All this to say that we could be here as bodyguards for one of many reasons. Not everyone reacts to competition well, after all, and especially not if the market was pretty stable until DaxxyCo decided to jump into the proverbial boat. The Dax family is newly well-off, meaning some of the old-money crowd is feeling touchy. 

PROXY: On that topic, I would appreciate advance warning if you upset anyone important.

FESTON: Oh, I see! The two of you are ganging up on me now. I knew this would happen.

PROXY: Don’t be silly. Office Feston was a model employee, right?

FESTON: Classic pivot to flattery, don’t think I didn’t clock it. But hey, while we’re out, why don’t you pick our next stop? Surprise us!

PROXY: Really? A new challenge, then.

FESTON: Yeah! Can’t wait to hear what you come up with, Prox. See you later!

[SFX: Feston exits the StarTripper via the ramp, jogging into an expansive courtyard where alien visitors chatter, and sky traffic whooshes overhead. Shortly, he enters the tiled DaxxyCo lobby through sliding doors, approaching Serena.]

FESTON: [to himself] That oughta keep her busy. Think you can pivot on me, huh...

SERENA: You good?

FESTON: Oh, what? Yeah, for sure, ready to go. Waiting on someone else?

SERENA: Had them put a call in to the VIP’s suite. Yeah, I know, a suite in a factory, don’t think about it too hard. They sure are taking their time about it-- [though.]

[SFX: The video-comm activates on the lobby desk. DISMA DAX’s voice is slightly modulated.]

DISMA: Ahh, finally. You’ll be the new private security, then?

SERENA: Serena the Sapphire Blade, Vatra Outrider, reporting in as requested, Miss Dax.

DISMA: Oh please, darling, call me Disma. “Miss Dax” makes me sound like I could be, well, anybody. I can’t abide it.

SERENA: Certainly, Disma, beg your pardon. If I may, your brother Dennek arranged our contract. Is he in?

DISMA: In his “study,” fretting a hole in the floor. Do come up, it’s frightfully boring in there.

SERENA: Understood. We’ll be there momentarily.

DISMA: Mmm. Be about it then, darling.

[SFX: The comm channel shuts off.]

FESTON: Wow. You’re really good at that.

SERENA: Deadpanning? It’s a survival skill, learn fast.

[TRANSITION MUSIC: breezy, smooth jazz]

>> Scene 02:

[SFX: Sliding doors open on TENLEE, who steps into the hallway. Muzak plays in the suite beyond.]

TENLEE: Ah, thank you for coming on such short notice. My name is Mx. Tenlee Rahl, and I am aide to the Branch COO.

SERENA: Happy to help. Has everything been smooth so far?

[SFX: A champagne flute shatters in the room beyond, prompting a shriek of fright from DENNEK DAX. Disma laughs.]

TENLEE: Zai save me. Hold that thought, Dennek will have gone straight for the restroom again. I really need to prep downstairs.

FESTON: This isn’t what your normal work day looks like, huh?

TENLEE: It’s that obvious?

SERENA: Don’t sweat it, you take five and do your thing, while Feston here handles the VIP.

FESTON: Really?

SERENA: There a problem?

FESTON: [poker-faced] Nope, not at all.

TENLEE: Oh, I really appreciate it. By the way, Drusus is the bulky one with the cravat. You’ll know Dennek because of the tailcoat, and the all-over trembling. I think you met Disma. 

SERENA: Complicated hat? Sure. Thanks for the tip.

[SFX: Tenlee departs past the pair and down the hall. Feston and Serena enter a room with couches and plush carpet.]

DISMA: Ah, very good, glad you could join us. Well, as soon as this mess has been tidied, and we go coax Dennek out of there, we can get on with it.

SERENA: Understood. I’ll take care of the glass. Feston, do your thing.

DRUSUS: You’re so accident-prone, Disma, I might almost think you were doing it on purpose.

[SFX: Broken glass tinkles, getting swept together.]

DISMA: Almost, Dru, but not completely.

DRUSUS: Perish the thought.

[SFX: A heavy scraping from inside the locked study, like that of a frail person dragging a dresser.]

FESTON: Sounds like he’s trying to barricade the door. Hang on a tick, folks.

DRUSUS: Ah yes, you’re the trainee or some such. See what you can say to him. We cannot delay this inspection any longer.

DISMA: Oh, I don’t know, I wouldn’t mind getting to know the person who is supposed to be guarding my body.

SERENA: Not much to tell, really, just passing through, and to be fair, I’ll be trying to guard all your bodies equally.

DISMA: But is it the worst thing in the galaxy if you should happen to, say, pull me out of the way of a speeding hover-tram?

SERENA: …Should I be on the lookout for that?

DISMA: Well, no, but I’ve always had this fantasy of someone nobly sacrificing themself on my behalf. Such a romantic gesture.

SERENA: Sure, for a second, anyway. No disrespect, Disma, but your brother is paying my fee, so if I have to take a dive all noble-like, he got first dibs.

DISMA: Mmm, and a pity, too. I bet you could stop a charging Krunnox with legs like that.

SERENA: I mean, it’s not like I’ve tested that theory—

FESTON: Pardon, everyone, can I just get a moment with Dennek here? (calling through door) Hey Dennek, buddy? My name is Feston, I’m supposed to be your security today. What’s up?

DENNEK: (through the door) I’m—I’m not coming out! This whole thing is completely unworkable! Bad signs everywhere!

FESTON: What do you mean?

DENNEK: I—I shouldn’t be here, I should be organizing a charity banquet on Greyling! First, Dagnus recovers from his wipeout at Yugfall, and what does he do? Immediately has a star-skimming accident!

DRUSUS: (to Serena) Dag’s just not very careful, he’s a thrill-seeker.

FESTON: Yugfall? Hey, I know that place it’s a—

DENNEK: Then Mama (pr. muh-MAH) has us all jet across space, just for one inspection! We all know it could have been Disma on her own, she doesn’t have anything remotely like work to do!

DISMA: Oh, come now, are you hearing this?

DENNEK: And then I get a threatening message made out of cut-up print media! “Ryveck-9 spells doom for Dennek Dax,” it said! I’m not even sure where to find such a thing as—as print media, but it’s simply vulgar! 

FESTON: Okay, I’ll admit, that part is pretty strange. But I promise nothing is gonna happen while you’re with me and Serena! I’ll even get your siblings to help and we’ll all form a ring around you or something.

DENNEK: Really?

DISMA: He’ll get us to what?

DRUSUS: Indeed. Rather an odd suggestion.

SERENA: Drusus, level with me: how soon do you want to get out of here?

DRUSUS: (after serious thought) Perhaps a bit of collaboration wouldn’t hurt.

[TRANSITION MUSIC: easy-going, bright]

>> Scene 03:

[SFX: The group takes an electric cart along the vast interior of the main factory floor. Fabrication machines print, seal, and transport goods of various kinds, some banging and welding. The cart comes to a stop.]

TENLEE: -- Which brings us to the central fabrication hub for building three. You’ll be pleased to know that productivity has gone up six percent, after last quarter's unfortunate fifteen percent decline.

DRUSUS: Mmhmm, mmhmm, and how do you account for this?

TENLEE: The shortfall was a result of some new and very sensitive plastics reacting to the previous lighting conditions. Some technicians are recovering from broken bones, nothing life-threatening.

DENNEK: [pleading, dreadful] Oh, Zai save me. Seffra Zai, I’m doomed.

SERENA: That’s some nasty plastic.

DISMA: [laughs, flirtatious] Stop it, you’re too funny.

TENLEE: Qualified techs now work in the dark, equipped with infra-red imaging lenses. Those with natural low-light vision can apply for extra shifts, and things are running much smoother.

DRUSUS: Mmhmm, mmhmm, very good. And what of your priority action items for this month?

DISMA: Would you listen to him? Dru, shut your yap for two ticks and let them get on with it. This isn’t like organizing the next symposium for your club.

TENLEE: [poker-faced] Ahem. Now that the plastic issue has been dealt with, we have some maintenance scheduled for the day after tomorrow. We’ve had some odd pressure readings, but most likely there are just some sensors that need adjusting.

DRUSUS: Mkay, show us.

TENLEE: Of course, we’ll just head for the Beverages & Non-Solids Module. Please remain seated in the cart while we travel.

[SFX: The cart speeds up with a slick electronic whirr. The horn emits two short toots of warning.]

FESTON: Hey, can I get a quick pulse-check on this whole “attempt on Dennek’s life” situation? I mean, it’s pretty strange, right?

DENNEK: Thank you! Somebody finally asks the question after a day!

DRUSUS: I was rather surprised to hear of it, I’ll admit.

DISMA: Never thought someone would find you interesting enough to bump off, Denny. Did you bore someone into an early grave, and now a relative is out for a little revenge?

DRUSUS: Somewhat galling that neither of us have ever been assassin’d before, Disma, wouldn’t you say?

DISMA: Oh, I can think of one or two darling friends who wouldn’t mind a chance, if one presented itself.

FESTON: But nobody’s ever, I dunno, told you to “fly safe” but in that way that sounds vaguely threatening?

DENNEK: Not that I can recall! I try not to talk to… most people. My nerves.

FESTON: Well, I’m out of ideas. So, Disma, can I ask you a question? 

DISMA: You’ve already made a good start, why stop now?

SERENA: [cautioning] Feston, maybe it isn’t the best time for this.

FESTON: It’s just, I’m not exactly from around here, but I heard Dennek is big into charitable causes. You mentioned your brother runs a club of some kind—

DRUSUS: [defensive] A place for like minds to meet on Shared Pursuits of Daring and Enterprise, thank you.

DISMA: Whatever that means. And you were hoping to ask what I occupy my sun-dappled hours with, dear? Be regaled by my pursuits all over this dizzy cosmos of ours?

FESTON: That sounds great, actually.

DISMA: [dramatically] Oh, nothing short of living my wildest dreams, dear. Pop-up galas; week-long disappearing acts with just the best people. I match my fortunate friends with experiences all over the Commonwealth, I’ve really seen it all.

FESTON: Amazing! That’s kind of like what-- [I do!]

DISMA: And if I haven’t seen it, then is it really worth seeing? Honestly?

FESTON: I guess not. 

DENNEK: Kak, you’ve got her started now. Brace yourself.

DISMA: Shush Denny, you’ll like this: last month, my friends and I had a scavenger hunt on Doloram and ended up making off with the crown jewels! [laughs delightedly] I mean I don’t know why everyone was so upset, they weren’t even that nice.

FESTON: …really, you don’t say?

DISMA: And then a week before, we convinced a monk on Lesser Baehar that we were his gods! Gave us all his worldly goods, isn’t that a riot?

FESTON: …oh yeah, wow…

DISMA: And then we --

[TRANSITION MUSIC: hazy, low-tempo; almost bored]

>> Scene 04:

[SFX: The cart zips through the Beverages & Non-Solids Module - the area is less active and noisy, but there are tubes and vats of carbonated liquid passing on all sides. Actuator arms lift and move all around, their joints whirring.]

DISMA: [at a later point in the same tangent] --But I told them, well, if it’s just going to deflate like that, you might as well not even bring it to the gala in the first place. I mean, that’s just common sense--

FESTON: Mm…mmhmm…?

TENLEE: *Ahem.* As you can see, and smell, we’ve reached the section of the floor where some of our most popular fortified sports and health drinks are made.

FESTON: [on edge] Oh… oh yeah? Which ones?

TENLEE: “Daxxy Refreshing Wow! Only Pawberry,” “Daxxy Invigorate Grapefruit-Walnut Go,” and “Daxxy Morning Urgently Mint Readiness Tonic,” to name a few.

SERENA: Why are you making that face?

FESTON: Oh, don’t mind me. Just reliving some sense-memories.

[SFX: Some subtle metallic creaking can be heard from above, for a few moments. The cart continues on its way through the factory.]

DENNEK: I think I quite agree with you, Feston. Never cared for the Grapefruit-Walnut Go myself, the aftertaste is dreadful. Like shoe leather being cursed at by an orange peel.

DRUSUS: Well, Den, I’ve hardly ever seen you go for anything stronger than maffalo milk.

DENNEK: I like what I like, Drusus, and frankly, you would drink engine coolant if someone told you it was a cocktail. You have the palette of a sedated --

[SFX: An actuator arm suddenly swings out to extend across the aisle we are traveling, puncturing a main full of carbonated tonic that begins to spurt everywhere.]

SERENA: Heads up!

[SFX: Serena lunges across the cart and brings Dennek down to the floor. All others duck in time but Drusus, who is hit full-on by the gout of tonic.]

DENNEK: Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!

DRUSUS: [spluttering] I’m blind!

DISMA: Quick, someone record this!

FESTON: Way ahead of you.

[SFX: The cart swerves and comes to an abrupt halt. The gout of tonic shuts off moments after.]

SERENA: Everyone all right?

DRUSUS: I think it got in my mouth! I’ve gone blind! Curse this horrid consumer beverage!

DENNEK: Save me! Please!

SERENA: [rock steady] It’s over, Dennek, danger’s passed. Feston, his eyes.

FESTON: Oh kak, lemme see, Drusus. [a moment’s checking] Your eyes look fine, a little red, although… yeah, there they go dilating.

[SFX: Drusus’s eyes dilate audibly.]

DRUSUS: I’m-- Oh, wait, that’s rather nice, actually. Hmm!

DENNEK: How can you be so calm? Is this a trick you set up yourself, Drusus? We almost died!

DRUSUS: [softer manner, genial] Oh no, nothing so bad! Look, you’re not even wet! Mx. Rahl, once we’ve tidied ourselves, perhaps you’d be so kind as to continue. Shame about the burst pipe, but not to worry.

DISMA: I’m starting to worry about you, …Dru?

SERENA: Is he okay? What was that stuff?

TENLEE: From the mint smell, and the way his manner has changed, I would have to say that was a faceful of concentrated Daxxy Morning Urgently Mint Readiness Tonic. It’s meant to keep you steady and focused as you start the day, in traffic, meetings, and so on. He should shake it off in, oh, twelve ticks?

DENNEK: [miserable] Yes, very encouraging. That pipe will need repairs, as well as a full diagnostic on that device! Oh, kak and bother.

FESTON: No problem, no problem. Here, Drusus, use my towel.

DRUSUS: Very good of you.

[SFX: Drusus takes a proffered towel and dries his face.]

TENLEE: I must apologize for the scare, everyone. Shall we?

DISMA: Why, certainly, my dear! And just when I was afraid I would die of sheer boredom!

DENNEK groans.

[SFX: funky & cool]

>> Scene 05:

[SFX: The cart zips down a wide lane, rows of humming sun lamps topping hydroponic rigs. The cart slows and halts]

DRUSUS: Oh, wonderful! What a charming space, the way the lights are kept so low! But these great lamps create such a contrast!

DISMA: That’s nice, Dru.

FESTON: What are you folks growing in here? The staff must love it.

TENLEE: Some products we make on-site require fresh ingredients, so these are all controlled growing banks for our more delicate varietals. You both have a point, I find myself wandering down here on a break sometimes for a bit of fresh air.

SERENA: Almost meditative as far as this place goes. 

FESTON: Definitely a great place to catch a nap.

TENLEE: Believe me, it’s an issue we’ve had to contend with. 

DENNEK: [still uneasy] Yes, plenty of shadowy corners. 

TENLEE: Now, in another few moments we’ll reach the junction to Shipping & Receiving, and then onto the depot for outgoing stock.

DRUSUS: Fantastic! Lead on, Mx. Rahl!

[SFX: The cart starts up again]

DENNEK: Now that I’ve had a chance to regain my composure, I must say, you two were very quick on the draw back there, my bumbling brother notwithstanding. I owe you some thanks, I can only imagine what you’ve survived before this.

FESTON: Don’t mention it! We’ve each been through our scrapes, I guess. I might be new at this, but she’s the real deal, trust me.

SERENA: Heh. At least somebody acknowledges it.

DISMA: Now, Serena, you really must tell me where you learned to style your hair like that. So... bold, so practical.

SERENA: Oh! Well, sure, it’s really just a variation on traditional Vatra braiding. I put it up in a bun because, well, this is a professional setting and everything.

DISMA: Ugh, you’re too much, I love it. Very kind of... paladin-librarian, sort of thing, or maybe… a sexy lifeguard who can swordfight. 

FESTON: Sexy lifeguard swordfights huh?

SERENA: [eyebrow raised] You have something to add, “total professional?”

FESTON: I’m torn on how to answer that— Oh!—

[SFX: A series of small explosive pops overhead turn into creaking metal, as part of a lighting rig starts to give way.]

SERENA: Tenlee, punch it! Get us clear!

TENLEE: I’m trying!

DENNEK and DISMA scream, gripped by the fear/thrill.

FESTON and DRUSUS hoot and holler for their lives.

[SFX: The cart accelerates sharply to max speed, one of the giant overhead lamps collapsing fully into the lane just behind. A few joists creak overhead, and one final scrap of metal falls at last with a clatter. Some workers nearby chatter with alarm.]

FESTON: What the kak was that? Serena, were those explosions I heard?

SERENA: Damn it. I think so.

[SFX: Again from overhead, a menacing laugh rings out.]

DRUSUS: [mildly] Hm. I’m not sure I get the joke.

DENNEK: [exultant / terrified] Everybody SHUT UP and appreciate how right I am! Someone! Is trying! To assassinate me! 

SERENA: Tenlee, show Feston the fastest way up there and find out what happened. I’ll cover these people.

FESTON: What if there’s an assassin up there?

SERENA: Just trust me and move! 

[SFX: Serena draws her sidearm and segmented sword simultaneously. The sidearm activates with a synth chirp.]

DISMA: [appreciative] Now that’s how you take charge.

FESTON: Ooooh, fine!

TENLEE: This way, Feston!

[SFX: Feston and Tenlee hurry off across the floor, POV follows them.]

DRUSUS: [voice trailing off with distance] Den, you really ought to give our protector a little more space.

DENNEK: [shaky, voice trailing off] Then you get your accursed bulk in front of me, Dru! I demand a meat shiel-- er, proper security!

[SFX: Making it to the wall, the pair scampers up a metal staircase and up into the catwalk overlooking the floor.]

[MUSIC: tense mystery]

TENLEE: Just watch your step. We don’t know what they might’ve left behind them.

FESTON: Yeah, this is… not what I was expecting. Seffra Zai, it’s like they sheared it clean off the ceiling fixture. Proxy, sorry to bother you, but there’s a situation in here.

TENLEE: Proxy?

PROXY: Not at all, I am glad this wasn’t a wasted visit. How can I help?

FESTON: If I scan some detonation points, any chance you can get me a chemical analysis?

PROXY: Certainly. Is someone trying to blow you up again?

[SFX: Feston crosses the catwalk and uses his multi-tool to scan a nearby ceiling joist.]

FESTON: Squish me, actually, but they definitely used some kind of explosive. Must have been pretty small to leave marks like that.

PROXY: One moment. Yes, it appears that whatever device was used would be a small, shaped charge capable of enormous heat output. While this is only conjecture on my part, the evidence does match certain specs with controlled DaxxyCo mining and ship-breaking products. In truth, your source may be the Ryveck facility itself.

FESTON: [intrigued] Well, I’ll be a hackmaw’s in-law. Thanks, Prox!

TENLEE: [getting over surprise] Was that an Integrated Assistant? You segmented it into your multi-tool?

FESTON: Her, not “it,” if you don’t mind, Mx. Rahl. Just think of Prox as the third member of your security detail. Oh-kay, do you have any idea if your inventory is down some mining charges?

TENLEE: I… I hadn’t thought to check. There’s so much, I...

FESTON: Hang on, there’s something else, down here. Is that a speaker?

SERENA: [voice raised down below] What’s going on up there, folks?

[SFX: Feston crosses to where the speaker is tucked, picks it up and leans over the railing, holding it out in front of him.]

FESTON: There’s some kind of little speaker system! I think they pulled a haunted house trick on-- [us!]

[SFX: The speaker emits another menacing laugh.]

FESTON and TENLEE yelp with fright.

[SFX: The speaker falls from Feston’s hand, smashing to pieces on the concrete seconds later and cutting the laughter short.]

SERENA: Well, points off for that!

FESTON: You’re grading my performance?

SERENA: Kak yes, I’m grading your performance! Get down here!

[TRANSITION MUSIC: tense, flowing]

>> Scene 06:

[SFX: The cart speeds along a broad corridor.]

FESTON: Why would somebody want to do this to you, Dennek?

DENNEK: [close to tears] I don’t know! I don’t know! I connect charitable organizations with the DaxxyCo brand, try to get our logo into hospitals and so forth. I polish our public image! I’m nobody in the grand scheme of things, and I think I would remember if I made someone murderously angry!

SERENA: You’re going to be fine, but we need to get you somewhere more secure. But for that, we need to make it to the StarTripper.

DRUSUS: [cheerful] Ah, wonderful, where are we headed then?

SERENA: Feston, gimme your arm. [into the wrist console] Proxy, get warmed up and chart a course for the nearest SPC security center. Be advised, possible pursuers en route. [no response] Proxy?

FESTON: Oh kak, we gotta activate your piloting permissions later. Hey Proxy? What she said!

PROXY: Acknowledged. Preparing for emergency takeoff.

[MUSIC: swelling action intro]

DENNEK: You’re handing me off to civil security? What was the point of hiring you, then?

SERENA: If they’re getting onto the factory floor of your building, our best bet is to get you to a Commonwealth refuge. We’re not handing you off, just creating a third-party buffer between you and a breach, like the one we just experienced. We need time to regroup.

DISMA: [really, you’re flirting now?] I like the sound of that.

TENLEE: It’s a good plan. But we will have to cross the yard for outgoing freight, in order to make it to your ship’s dock. Serena, turn right up here, that will take us to the freight yard.

SERENA: On it. Hang on, we’re gonna be taking this next part kinda hot!

[SFX: Serena all but drifts the cart through an upcoming turn, hover engines whooshing, before the final stretch of hallway opens to the freight yard. Distant shipping containers can be heard lifting and settling into place, the overhead thrum of freight droids moving them to and fro.]

DRUSUS: What a day this turned into?

FESTON: Hey, that’s the spirit!

TENLEE: It’ll be a right, straight on along lane five, and then left to hit the docking ring. I’m terribly sorry for all this.

FESTON: Don’t beat yourself up, this whole day has been off-script for you, not as much for us!

SERENA: Comes with the job. Or vocation, in his case.

TENLEE: I suppose you’re right. Even so.

DENNEK: I don’t see anyone following! What if they’re waiting for us at the dock? I can’t bear it!

DRUSUS: [as if birdwatching] Say, where do you suppose that freight droid is headed? Looks a bit like a Doulian pond crab when it’s straight-on like that, see? With the pincers?

DISMA: It does seem to be coming down a little low, no? [realizing] Oh, *now* I see the crab, Dru, that is funny.

SERENA: What are you-- [looking over shoulder] Oh. Hey Feston, do me a favor?

FESTON: Switch seats?

SERENA: Yeah, please.

[SFX: The thrum of a flying freight droid becomes louder and closer by the second. Serena and Feston jostle into each other’s spots.]

TENLEE: It’s coming in!

[SFX: The droid swoops in low, its air pocket buffeting the cart, which Feston fights to correct.]

DRUSUS: [acting the genial hero] I’ve got you, Mx. Rahl, have no fear!

[SFX: Drusus bumps hard off of Tenlee--]

TENLEE: No, wait--! [bump, oof!]

DRUSUS: Oh dear--!

SERENA: Grab my hand! Kak!

[SFX: --Before tumbling over the side. We can hear his grunts of muffled impact disappearing into the distance.]

DISMA: Don’t we have to go back and save him or something?

FESTON: No can do! Besides, it’s not Drusus they’re after!

[SFX: Serena plants her feet on the flatbed of the cart.]

DENNEK: What are you doing?

SERENA: Well, the explanation is sort of technical. 

[SFX: Serena draws her segmented sword.]

SERENA: It’ll be easier if I show you.

FESTON: Don’t worry, she should be fine.

TENLEE: [horrified] Should?

[SFX: The droid is very close, its enormous grabbers clacking together with pneumatic menace. Serena leaps across the gap with an VWOMP, plunges her sword into outer paneling, and scrapes to a halt atop it.]

FESTON: I can’t see, is she doing it? Is it really cool?

DENNEK: Are you people completely insane?

FESTON: Not if this works! Hold tight, turn coming up!

[SFX: Feston hits the brakes just enough to whip the cart left around the corner. The drone lags, taking the turn too wide and scraping against shipping containers, the thrum of its engine unsteady. One container opens forcefully, drums of super-plastic spilling open; it swells, hardens and shatters dramatically. ]

DISMA cheers, laughing with delight.

DENNEK: What are you so happy about, Disma? Plastic shrapnel is just one of a dozen ways we could die right now!

DISMA: This is amazing! Better than I could have dreamed it would go!

FESTON: …I think I missed something.

DENNEK: [disbelief turning to fury] This was all… your doing? You sent me a horrid letter, poisoned Drusus, almost killed us all twice—

[SFX: The droid attempts to return to life, but Serena charges up a burst of energy from her armor and sends it into the droid’s systems, frying its CPU. The droid falls almost at once, scraping to a halt as Serena leaps from its hull and lands neatly away.]

DENNEK: [still raging] Almost killed us three times, and damaged company property! And for what? For a laugh?

TENLEE: Oh dear. Mr. Dax, please--

DISMA: My dear, dear Denny, have a little perspective! Of course it was me! Well, not just me, Mx. Rahl did their part, naturally. I wouldn’t have known where to put everything otherwise! That and I needed admin access for the company Wave. It was like directing a play, Denny, marvelous fun!

FESTON: What? I thought we were—Tenlee, is she serious?

TENLEE: [ashamed] It was rather difficult for me to say “no.” I couldn’t risk my job upsetting her.

FESTON: Oh, that’s messed up! Hey Disma, you’re messed up!

DENNEK: But all this? This is why Mama would never trust you with a real position in the company! What were you thinking?

DISMA: [a hint of scorn] How long has it been since we saw each other last? And you so big and puffed up about your position now, it’s very sweet. I just wanted to see what would happen, how you’d react. Maybe have a laugh with my brothers while we were in town on business. You were never in any real danger, this was just a joke, a bit! Is that so bad all of a sudden?

DENNEK: [to DISMA] Bad? Is it so bad?

[SFX: Serena comes trotting up from behind.]

SERENA: [a little breathless] I think we’re okay now.

DENNEK: I could just-- AAGH!

[SFX: With a cry of rage, Dennek flings himself onto Disma and they fall to blows.]

SERENA: Oh, kak.

FESTON: Grab ‘em!

[SFX: Serena hops up onto the cart and pulls Dennek and Disma apart, the odd punch or kick still flying between them. Their fight trails off as Drusus runs up from behind the downed droid with a bellow. There is a clang as he swings a pipe he found.]

DRUSUS: [distant] Raaaagh! Drusus returns! Who sent you, villain? Out with it, I’ll have you strung up by your thumbs, if you’ve even got them! You come out of there!

FESTON: It’s automated, bud, Disma had it reprogrammed!

DRUSUS: [resuming his genial manner] Oh. Oh! Well, could be worse.

[SFX: Drusus tosses the pipe to one side.]

DISMA: See? Somebody forgives me! And don’t worry, I’ll see that you lovely bodyguards get your fee. This was too much fun, Serena darling, I could watch you slay for days.

SERENA: I uh… heard something about Tenlee helping you before?

TENLEE: It’s true. I’m so sorry for the pretense.

FESTON: I dunno, I’m kind of with Drusus on this one.

SERENA: Their job is safe, right? You didn’t come up with all this just so the only real outcome is a good person gets fired?

DISMA: Why, of course--

SERENA: Because if we hear that Mx. Tenlee Rahl is no longer happily employed on Ryveck-9, or somewhere nicer, I’m gonna find you. Then, I’m gonna roll you up into a little ball so dense, you sink in water. Am I being in any way unclear?

DISMA: Not at all. Point well made.

FESTON: And Tenlee probably deserves the rest of the day off for having to put up with all this, right?

DISMA: [now eager to cooperate] At least! Yes!

SERENA: Then if nobody objects, I think we’ll be making our way to one of your fine local eateries so I can start forgetting today ever happened. Don’t hesitate to call again if there’s real work that needs doing.

DENNEK: Very good of you, lady outrider. Despite the circumstances, your work speaks for itself, and your trainee is… well, don’t count him out yet, eh?

SERENA: [uncertain] Yeah, he’ll… I’ll really… look, we’ll see what happens. Tenlee, we’ll give you a ride someplace.

[SFX: The trio walks off, leaving the Daxes.]

FESTON: Well, I could use a drink. Buy you a round?

TENLEE: You’re both very kind. Really, I’m struggling to process what just happened, you’re rather impressive in a crisis.

FESTON: Yeah, we’ve all had some practice by now. [going into his outro spiel] But who’s to say how next time will go, oooon StaaarTripper!!

TENLEE: [after a moment] What is he talking about?

FESTON: Well it’s this project I started—

SERENA: Better if you don’t ask, or he won’t shut up all night.

TENLEE: Fair enough. By the way, you have to teach me how you held it together with Disma flirting with you like that!

SERENA: [genuinely confused] Flirting?

END

CREDITS: StarTripper!! was created by Julian Mundy, hey that’s me! And produced by Mischa Stanton, Ian McQuown, and me.

“The DaxxyCo Gig” was written and directed by yours truly; with sound design by Mischa Stanton; and performances by Ian McQuown as Feston, Sierra Shay as Proxy, Sammi Lappin as Serena, Jack De Sena as Dennek Dax, Angel Parker as Disma Dax, Eric Nenninger as Drusus Dax, and Chris Smith as Tenlee Rhal. Recorded at a safe social distance with production help from Lauren Shippen and Evan Cunningham. Music by Ketsa. For more, check out ketsamusic.com. Additional music this episode by Daniel Birch and Soularflair.

Check us out on the wave at StarTripperHQ.com for transcripts and links to subscribe on your podbank of choice, or on social media @StarTripperHQ where we love sharing fan art and other show-related stuff. Need the most recent show announcements or updates? Our Twitter feed is the best place to look. Again, that’s @StarTripperHQ.

If you want to support the show, you can find us on Patreon. That’s Patreon.com/StarTripper. Even a regular $1 pledge helps us immensely to keep making cool shows for you, which we would love to keep doing. Thank you for flying with us; and now, this week’s StarTrip Survival Tip:

The vacuum of deep space is one of the least hospitable places a life-form can go, which you makes you pretty impressive when you think about it. Give yourself some credit.