023: Living In Space

produced by Julian Mundy, Mischa Stanton & Ian McQuown
story by Mischa Stanton & Ian McQuown
written, directed & sound design by Mischa Stanton
[BACK]

[[INTRO]]

[[MUSIC: “Wild Plain”]]

>> Scene 01:

[[SFX: A fuel stop/rest area; other travelers mill about. FESTON, SERENA, & HAEGAN sit at a picnic table, pouring over a nav chart. SERENA swipes over to a coordinate.]]

SERENA: What about Kalgash? The Shifting Palisades should really be moving this time of year… I think?

FESTON: How do you know what time of year it’ll be? They’re orbiting like six stars, spacetime’s all blippy in that system. We could land in the middle of fault-line season for all we know.

SERENA: Yeah, fair point.

[[SFX: HAEGAN swipes.]]

HAEGAN: What about Glissando Beta? Can’t miss those Grab-Bag Races!

FESTON: Yeah! But I did that one last year. The Cliff-Terrors were nice.

SERENA: Cliff-what?? Those sound cool!

FESTON: Hey Travelers, welcome back to StarTripper!! I’m Feston Pyxis, ever your host, and Serena, Haegan & I are trying to pick our next location. There’s always more sights to see out there, and except where we can see our friends, or get free stuff, I’m doing my best to avoid repeats.

HAEGAN: Fair dues. Suppose I’ve missed my share of escapades thus far, being the newest.

SERENA: Most of the best ones are in the podcast.

HAEGAN: Ah, right... The podcast.

[[SFX: A high-pitched muttering sound.]]

PROXY: [bwoip!] Feston, if I may?

FESTON: Abso-fruitly! What’s up Prox?

PROXY: I have been considering an exemplary trip location ever since you tasked me to do so many weeks ago.

FESTON: I did? When did I do that?

PROXY: In the landing bay of the DaxxyCo facility on Ryveck-9.

FESTON: ...Ohh yeahhhhh. I forgot about that!

HAEGAN: Never a fan of that Daxxy dreck, myself.

PROXY: I would like to put forth Hazifont as an ideal destination for us! A gas giant in the Torazoa system.

[[SFX: Proxy changes the display.]]

SERENA: I guess that’s fair enough! It’s not like she’s ever really had a turn, y’know?

FESTON: Yikes, sixteen junctions though, Prox? Kinda far out on the edge, don’tcha think?

HAEGAN: You got somewhere to be in a hurry?

FESTON: Not necessarily, I just think it’d be safer to stay a little closer to Central space, y’know? In general.

[[SFX: Priority alert! Several other crews all get the same loud alert, and shout in surprise.]]

SERENA: Kakking hell!
HAEGAN: Zai return!
FESTON: WOW that’s loud!

PROXY: Sorry everyone, that’s a Priority Alert from Commonwealth Traffic Authorities, broad-waved to all captains. Feston?

FESTON: Go ahead and send it to me here, Prox, we’ll read it on the way back to you.

[[SFX: The gang stands up and makes their way back to the ship, as… Bwoip! Proxy sends the message.]]
[[MUSIC: Floaty mystery.]]

FESTON: Okay let’s see here… “From the Seffran Planetary Commonwealth Traffic Authority, ALERT! A strange-matter storm has hit several quantum-entangled star systems throughout Commonwealth space. Major slipspace routes are needed to transport emergency resources to affected areas. As such, all slipspace lanes are hereby closed to passenger vessels, as well as Class-Gamma cargo transports or below, until further notice.” …Until further notice?! Like, indefinitely?

[[SFX: Several other captains groan & react to the news as they board the ship. The high-pitched muttering returns. Proxy transfers to the main sound system.]]

SERENA: Strange-matter storms are some big-time nasty, for sure.

FESTON: Big-time nasty, like, “call in to the Home Office” nasty?

SERENA: Hah! No, no no. Not really our job. We’ll leave this one to the professionals, and as long as we stay out of the way we should be physically fine. Still, this is gonna have some ripples across the galaxy...

HAEGAN: Well and sure, with non-essential cargo transport down, we’re all gonna have to get patient in a hurry.

FESTON: Yeah but, I mean… Prox, Hazifont was hundreds of ticks away before this. Now it could take days. Are you absolutely sure that’s where you want to go?

PROXY: I have given it a great deal of thought, and I believe Hazifont is the ideal destination!

SERENA: Okay, yes, but come on Proxy these are extenuating circumstances–

PROXY: I beg your pardon, Serena but… It is my turn. You said.

HAEGAN: She’s got you there.

FESTON: Okay, Proxy. You’re right. Chart us a course for Hazifont… the long way round.

[[SFX: Feston starts the engine. Proxy confirms the route.]]

PROXY: Route achieved. Flight time to Hazifont: 15 standard days.

SERENA: Hot dang.

HAEGAN: [low whistle] Well we’ll all certainly get to know each other!

FESTON: [grim sigh] Okay, yep, lock that in and take us out.

PROXY: Excellent! You won’t regret it, I promise. Request for clearance granted, docking ring de-coupling. Prepare for take-off!

[[SFX: The ship launches.]]
[[MUSIC: Strumming guitar, ready for takeoff.]]

FESTON: We’ll have to figure out ways to, um… pass the time, I guess. [beat] Oh! Oh, oh! I know just the thing! Who wants to play… Diplomats of Several Lands??

[[SFX: Feston digs out a board game and shakes the box excitedly.]]

HAEGAN: Uh…. Fun as that sounds, I’ll take a pass.

SERENA: Yeah, maybe later Feston.

[[SFX: Serena and Haegan wander off to far corners of the ship, leaving Feston dejected.]]

FESTON: Aww, but come on y’all, it’s really fun I swear!... Dang it.

[[SFX: High-pitched muttering.]]

FESTON: ...Does anyone hear that?

>> Scene 02:

[[SFX: A family shuffles around, putting down their luggage.]]
[[MUSIC: Homey guitar strumming continues.]]

TOOPER: All right, all right! Settle in and keep your noise levels to a minimum, folks. Sounds like it’s going to be a long trip.

POLTA: Can we go to the cockpit, Mama Flannee? I wanna see the cockpit!

FLANNEE: Yes, yes, of course! My word, did you ever not set foot on a ship and demand to see the cockpit not a tick later?

TOOPER: You know the rules, Polta. Go on and scrub up, and we’ll see about making our way up to the cockpit when you’ve made yourself presentable to the Hosts.

POLTA: Aww Mama Tooper, do I have to?

TOOPER: It’s our way. “Each vessel is a chance to be the best Guests we can be,” as the Good Book says. Now, off with you, before the Hosts turn the lights out and you have to dig out your scrub kit in the dark.

POLTA: Hmmph, fine… But then the cockpit!

[[SFX: POLTA trudges off and digs through their trunk for the scrub kit.]]

FLANNEE: Zai preserve, what is it with that child and cockpits…

TOOPER: Xe loves to fly. Build a ship the size of us, and xe’d be one heck of a pilot, I tell you that.

FLANNEE: Build a ship the size of us, and it wouldn’t clear the gravity well of your average-sized astral body.

TOOPER: Alas, how we find ourselves here, once more at the mercy of the kindness of large strangers!

FLANNEE: Yes indeed, I quite like this ship! Gorgeous shade of indigo, goodly amount of nooks and crannies.

FESTON: [behind the wall] Hey Serena, you seen my talon clipper anywhere? Oh… Never mind!

FLANNEE: But… I’m concerned, love. The broad-Wave didn’t say when to expect slipspace to be back to normal. A sub-lightspeed journey leaves that much more time for the Hosts to find us, to try to evict us...

TOOPER: And if they do, we’ll manage, won’t we? As we have in the past. Until then, we’ll just have to be on our very best behavior.

FLANNEE: ...I love you, Tooper Pontruff.

TOOPER: And I love you, Flannee Pontruff.

[[SFX: They kiss. Polta finishes scrubbing xemself and re-enters.]]

POLTA: Okay, all clean!

TOOPER: Ah ah, let’s see… Arms up? Behind the frills? Open wide?

POLTA: Aaaaaaa–

TOOPER: All right, I do believe this one is clean. Now, let’s see if we can’t find a conduit that leads to the cockpit, eh?

POLTA: Yes!! Last one there’s a dust mite!

[[SFX: Polta runs off down a hallway.]]

TOOPER: Now hold on Polta, don’t run off! [to Flannee] Ach, your child will be the death of me.

FLANNEE: Our child, my love. Better go and catch ‘em!

[[MUSIC: Upbeat piano & xylophone.]]

>> Scene 03:

[[SFX: Somewhere deep in the bowels of the ship. Serena digs in some dirt, then sprays something from a spray bottle.]]

SERENA: Let’s see, what else… I wanna take a look at the pH tabs in Box 5, seems like I’m going through those faster than we should be, might have to order more… and what’s going on with irrigation in Box 2, the stalks are looking brittle…

PROXY: [bwoip!] Hello, Serena.

SERENA: Hey Proxy, what’s up?

PROXY: I, um, hope I’m not intruding.

SERENA: Just a little bit of botanical maintenance. What’s on your mind?

[[SFX SERENA puts down her gardening tools.]]

PROXY: Well… I was wondering if you were mad at me.

SERENA: Mad at you? No.

PROXY: Okay.

SERENA: Why would I be mad at you?

PROXY: No one seemed quite thrilled about our current destination. It’s my first time insisting on something that has no bearing on mechanical maintenance or safety protocols, and I worry that my doing so was unwelcome in our current social dynamic.

SERENA: Oh, Proxy… No. We’re not mad at you. You’re an equal part of our crew. It’s really only fair that you also get to pick where we go sometimes.

PROXY: I appreciate you saying so. Nevertheless, I sense some residual apprehension.

SERENA: Well… yeah, I don’t exactly love an extended trip through the open black. But really, it’s fine. You say Hazifont’s the place to be, and we trust you.

PROXY: Okay. Thank you for hearing me out.

SERENA: Of course. And hey, who knows, maybe they’ll have slipspace open in a day or two. Then our journey’s down to a matter of ticks.

PROXY: Indeed, who knows.

[[SFX: SERENA resumes gardening.]]
[[MUSIC: Soft tones.]]

PROXY: I didn’t know when we first met that you’d have such a green thumb!

SERENA: Oh, yeah, I guess. Just trying to keep these lil froods alive and breathing.

PROXY: What’s growing these days?

SERENA: ...Proxy, you’re the ship. You are the garden. And you have Wave access right from your brain. Don’t you know what’s growing here?

PROXY: Yes, but I like when you tell me.

SERENA: [a chuckle] Well… Over here are some staples to make sure we won’t starve if we end up drifting: temsin root, frit-stalk, square-nut squash, that kinda thing. Up here are just some big leafy things to take some of the strain off your atmo scrubbers.

PROXY: My scrubbers appreciate the help!

SERENA: These are extras from Arbor Day, which Feston definitely wasn’t gonna water, so I sort of adopted them. Needy little buggers. And these… are personal. I planted each one after an important moment in my life. And every new place I land I bring a seedling with me. I’ve had some of them for a long time. My whole life, it feels like.

[[SFX: SERENA takes a potted plant down from a shelf and turns it in her hands.]]

PROXY: Why do you tend the garden? If you don’t mind my asking.

SERENA: No, it’s okay. Um… I don’t know. It just feels like it’s what I’m supposed to be doing, I guess. It’s at the center of me. It’s just something Arsyllans do. Wherever we call home, we pick a quiet spot and tend a garden. I never took to it in a major way, but the motions are deep in my bones. It’s meditative. Quiet.

[[SFX: A cooling pipe pings overhead.]]

SERENA: Well… relatively. Being part of the Circle can be a rambling sort of life. So when I’m feeling cast to the winds sometimes… I can run my fingers through the leaves, I can dig into the soil, I can touch those things and feel connected again. Connected to something with roots, something that has to dig into a place just to be. Just for a hot tick. Y’know?

PROXY: I don’t really. I lack the necessary input apparatus to approximate biological tactile sensation. I could dip a sensor probe into the soil, and I would measure its temperature, scan its surface texture, analyze its mineral composition. But that’s not really the same as “feeling” it.

SERENA: Oh. Sorry.

PROXY: No need to apologize! It’s not vital to my day-to-day operations to know what things feel like, and I’m not sensing less of the universe than you are. It’s just something I think about, sometimes.

SERENA: Sure… I might as well apologize for not having a supercomputer for a brain, right?

PROXY: Exactly. Just because we view the universe through different means, doesn’t mean we aren’t each living our best lives. Being the way I am makes me feel good. And likewise, you feel like yourself when you can feel connected to the soil from which you sprang, to the traditions of your people, and to plant life, living and breathing. Would you say so?

SERENA: ...Yeah, Prox. I really would. Thanks.

PROXY: For what?

SERENA: For reminding me why I like gardening.

PROXY: Of course! I’ll stop bothering you now and leave you to your solitude. Thanks for talking to me, Serena. See you later! [bloips away]

SERENA: [sigh] Let’s see, what’s next...

[[MUSIC: Chill rock riff.]]

>> Scene 04:

[[SFX: The Lounge. Haegan softly tosses a bag of tiles in their hand.]]

PROXY: [bwoip] Good evening Haegan.

HAEGAN: Evening Proxy. What’s the word?

PROXY: Can you please confirm that there are currently four blocks of sublight fuel catalyzer waiting on the intake rack? I think one of the ID sensors got obscured or damaged, I’m only seeing three.

HAEGAN: Hmm, should be four. Mark the one you can’t see and I’ll take it out of rotation for maintenance.

PROXY: Thank you. What are you up to this evening?

HAEGAN: I was just about to play a round of the Mythos. Do you know it?

PROXY: I’m not familiar with the game, but I do have reference to the Mythos of Kraydis, the storytelling traditions of your homeworld.

HAEGAN: That’s the one.

PROXY: It’s a game?

HAEGAN: Sometimes it’s a game, sometimes it’s a book, sometimes it’s a song around the bar. I like it best when it’s a game, especially a game with others. Care to play with me?

PROXY: Sure! If you move to the kitchen counter, I can use kitchen equipment to manipulate the tiles.

[[SFX: Haegan moves to the counter and dumps the tiles out.]]

HAEGAN: Alright then. We’ll pick three tiles at a time until you have twenty-one. You start.

PROXY: All right.

[[SFX: Kitchen robotics whir as Proxy picks tiles, then HAEGAN, back and forth. Then they play.]]
[[MUSIC: Floaty thoughtful guitar loops.]]

HAEGAN: Keep your tiles so that I can’t see them, that’s good. Each tile sports a Kraydis rune, and those runes correspond to the Tenets of the Mythos. You start with this blue one in the center, which we usually call the Womb, or the Foundation. And from there you build the Mythos piece by piece. Ah, like this one for example is “the Mutiny”– very volatile game piece, this. Can change whole games when that is played.

PROXY: And any piece may be played on any other?

HAEGAN: For the most part. As long as there is narrative flow.

PROXY: While we speak I am downloading the runic index.

HAEGAN: Good, good.

PROXY: For the first move… I lay “The Soft Place.”

HAEGAN: A popular opener, for sure. Pick a tile from the pool to replace it. Hmm, I think I’ll lay... “The Old Warrior.”

PROXY: Interesting, in the Mythos as I have read it, the Old Warrior is usually found further along the Road. This makes it seem like they have been in the Soft Place for a long time? Which implies a prologue, I suppose.

HAEGAN: I believe it does!

PROXY: So, if I lay out “Hoard-Keeper” here, does that mean the Hoard was kept in the Soft Place, or that the keeping of the Hoard led the Warrior to the Soft Place?

HAEGAN: The latter. If you want the former, you would lay it back this way, like so. See how they line up?

PROXY: Oh, yes I see! Very interesting. I’m beginning to see the scope of it.

HAEGAN: Well all right! Let’s see, my move… hmm. How about “The Season of Plenty?”

PROXY: “Abundance.”

HAEGAN: “The Shining Beacon.”

PROXY: Um… “Besieged?”

HAEGAN: You’re a little bolder than that, I’m sure.

PROXY: Bolder? Hmm… Oh! Instead I lay “Hollow Victory.”

HAEGAN: Yes, that’s the ticket! So now I lay “Beyond Hard Coin.”

PROXY: “Nostalgia.”

HAEGAN: “Fighting Ghosts.”

PROXY: “Astray in the Wilds!”

HAEGAN: “The Mutiny!” See, now this is one heck of a tale here: A ruler too caught up in the glory of battles past to join in the prosperity of their people? Classic!

PROXY: Wow! This is very fun.

HAEGAN: I had a feeling you’d like it! See, when you play the Mythos instead of just telling it, the same old story becomes a collaboration, a conversation. We discuss its morals and values. We proclaim to each other what we hold dear. Together we create our own, unique interpretation of the Mythos, and in doing so, we remake each other. Maybe ourselves.

PROXY: Beautiful! So how does one win?

HAEGAN: Win... the Mythos?

PROXY: Yes. How do you win?

HAEGAN: Now that’s something I’ve just never understood. Why would you play a game with your friends, just to beat them? That sounds simply miserable! What are you left with? No, the Mythos isn’t a game you win. There isn’t an “optimal strategy.” It’s a game you play, together.

PROXY: … This is not something I had considered, but you make a lot of sense.

HAEGAN: I do that quite a lot, I think!

[[SFX: Feston enters.]]

FESTON: Hey Haegan, hey Proxy, whatcha doin– OH! Are you playing board games?? I call next! Wait here, I’m gonna run and grab Diplomats of Several Lands! Be right back!

[[SFX: He runs off, hyperventilating.]]

HAEGAN: You’re not going to sit through a session of that game, are you?

PROXY: There’s an asteroid field a few dozen ticks ahead of us that I should probably reserve attention for. You?

HAEGAN: Are you kidding? Not even if you paid me.

PROXY: You already played “Beyond Hard Coin.”

HAEGAN: Oh ok! Making jokes after a single round!

[[MUSIC: Laid-back vibes.]]

>> Scene 05:

[[SFX: A ventilation duct. Polta runs around playing make-believe.]]

POLTA: You’ve met your match, Nova Serpent! With xyr mighty lance, Orello Rex will vanquish you! Hyah! Hoo, hah!

[[SFX: Polta play-fights, clambering through the vents, ducking, rolling, “parkour”-ing off the walls.]]

POLTA: At last you lay defeated! Will you yield? No? Then say goodbye to your “brood-sprawn" and pray to your serpent god! Hyyyyah-WOAH!

[[SFX: A grate opens up and Polta tumbles through. Xe slides down the shaft, falls through an open vent, free-falls through the open air of the cargo hold, pings off a metal canister, and falls to the ground in a tumble. The canister leaks & drips onto the floor.]]

POLTA: Oww…

HAEGAN: [far off] What was that?

POLTA: Uh oh…

[[SFX: Giant footsteps resound as Haegan approaches. Polta scrambles behind another piece of cargo.]]

POLTA: Don’t see me, don’t see me!… [gasps, but a hand is put over xyr mouth]

FLANNEE: Shh!

HAEGAN: [giant] Ugh, this stuff! Do they even drink it? What is the point? Proxy, let’s check the pressure seals of these pallets on the next maintenance cycle. Looks like something about the, uh… ugh, “Daxxy Soothing Full-Night Lunawort Infusion,” is different from the rest. Who comes up with these names? Each one more ridiculous than the last... Guh, smells like bad perfume…

[[SFX: Haegan wanders away. Flannee peels her hand away.]]

POLTA: [whispering] Thanks, Mom. I thought I was caught for sure!

FLANNEE: Polta, how many times have I warned you about running off alone?! Did you think this was a joke?

POLTA: But Mom, I was just playing around, I was exploring!

HAEGAN: [distant] Okay, now I’ve gotta know…

[[SFX: Haegan returns to the Daxxy pallet.]]

FLANNEE: We’ll discuss this when we get back. Hurry now!

[[SFX: Polta & Flannee scurry into another grate. As they do, Haegan bends down, dips a finger in the Daxxy stuff, and tastes it.]]]

HAEGAN: … Blah. Expired perfume. [yawn] That’s disgusting.

[[MUSIC: Down-beats.]]

>> Scene 06:

[[SFX: The Pontruff home base.]]

POLTA: [crying] But Mom – I – said – I – was – sorry!!

FLANNEE: Sorry’s not going to cut it this time! We need to know you’ve learned your lesson. Go to your nook.

POLTA: ...UGH!!

[[SFX: Polta stomps off down the hall.]]

TOOPER: Don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh on xem?

FLANNEE: [sigh] Maybe. But how else am I supposed to get through to xem when xe won’t slow down long enough to listen?

TOOPER: Why don’t you let me give it a try?

[[SFX: Tooper walks down the hall to Polta’s nook and bends down to talk to them.]]
[[MUSIC: Tender.]]

TOOPER: Polta? Ah, darling… now you know why Mama Flannee is so mad, right?

POLTA: [sobbing, rambling] Yeah but I didn’t even get caught! I was gonna hide and the Host didn’t even see me–

TOOPER: Whoa whoa whoa, okay! It’s okay… Listen well, love. I know this is a long haul. I know! It’s a hard time for us. But we have to be the best Guests we can be. Clean, quiet, out of the way. We don’t want to bother our Hosts, right?

POLTA: ...Stupid... How come we have to be Guests? How come we can’t just make our own ships?

TOOPER: I know it can be frustrating to accept. Believe me, I struggled too.

POLTA: You did?

TOOPER: Oh my yes! It’s hard to accept just how vulnerable we can be, at our size. But you know what? Having to rely on strangers… sure, it can be dangerous. Frustrating. But it also reveals just how much mercy and kindness there can be in the universe. And when your Mama insists on being the best guests we can be? That’s us, trying to give some of that kindness back. And I know you, my Polta. I know you are kind… if a little rambunctious sometimes too.

[[SFX: TOOPER ruffles POLTA’s hair.]]

POLTA: [laughs, wipes away tears]

TOOPER: How about this: after dinner tonight, I’ll tell you the story of the first time I fell down a ventilation shaft. What do you say?

POLTA: ...They’re slippery, right? It’s not just me.

TOOPER: Hah! They sure can be. I’ll come get you when dinner’s ready, okay?

POLTA: ...Okay. Thanks Mom.

TOOPER: I love you, Polta.

POLTA: Love you.

[[MUSIC: Reconciliation beats.]]

>> Scene 07:

[[SFX: The kitchen. Serena sits at the table, sipping a cup of space-tea. A toilet flushes, and Feston enters.]]

FESTON: Hey Serena. Is the re-hydrator free?

SERENA: Yeah, go for it.

FESTON: Wow, you look nice!

SERENA: Thanks.

FESTON: Did you do something to your hair?

SERENA: Yeah, I um… I rubbed some oil into it, and braided it.

FESTON: It’s nice! I like it. There’s like a smooth, spicy smell to it. What’s the occasion?

[[MUSIC: Happy memories.]]

SERENA: It’s just something I picked up when I was first starting out, during a few weeks tracking dangerous fugitives on Emerix. I was with a crew of wardens from Olin’s Watch, and one day, I remember waking up to them going through this whole process -- quietly reciting things to themselves while they braided and oiled their hair. We lost a whole day for this custom I knew nothing about, but I really liked the smell, and the way they looked when they thought I was still sleeping. They told me each braid was for one precious thing or person in their lives, and by oiling, weaving, and wearing them all together, they could celebrate all of them openly, even in combat.

FESTON: Aww, That’s beauti– [clears throat] ahem, beautiful.

SERENA: Yeah, right? They called it “the Cordweaver’s Oath.” They inventory their lives every year and refresh the pattern, and they seal it in with a fresh coat of oil, like polishing armor. They literally wear their families and their experiences on the battlefield with them when they meet the enemy.

FESTON: SO zowy. What a way to bring your people together. [cough cough]

SERENA: Exactly! And, y’know, the idea of carrying your experiences with you in a physical way really appealed to me. So they showed me how to do it, and I’ve kept up the practice, just kinda quietly. Later on I picked up a hand-carved vessel for the jadewood oil.

FESTON: [swollen] Jadewood oil? Is that what that stuff was in the washroom?

SERENA: Yeah, it’s great for locking in moisture. The original Olin was also said to wear all-jadewood armor, but I dunno if that was before the first Oath or after.

FESTON: Oh, wow! That’s so neat!

SERENA: Why?

FESTON: Well, interesting fact: jadewood oil contains myotephraline. Lorvians are pretty allergic!

SERENA: …Oh kak, is that why your face is all–

FESTON: Yeah, probably.

SERENA: How allergic? On a scale of like, 1-10?

FESTON: Like… I dunno, like a seven? It’s probably fine, please keep going!

SERENA: Uh, y’know what? Why don’t I continue while we head on down to the medbay.

FESTON: [very swollen, barely intelligible] Okay, yeah that does sound like a good call. So what happened with those Emerixi fugitives?

[[SFX: Dazed beats.]]

>> Scene 08:

[[SFX: The cargo hold. HAEGAN is shoving clutter back and forth, trying to make some sense of the mess.]]

HAEGAN: This is what y’all call orderly... Got the electrical repair stuff all mixed in with mechanical, you got perishables near the gas canisters, what if one of them sprung a leak? And so much of this Daxxy nonsense… not sure if that goes with food stores or explosives. Why if I ever left my shop in such a state, my house-parent woulda taken it out of my tail-parts with interest!

FESTON: Your house-parent sounds like a laugh riot...

[[SFX: Haegen moves something large and it topples over.]]

FESTON: Hey, careful! What gives, didn’t we do an inventory on Fribsday?

HAEGAN: Someone’s gotta put this place in its place!

[[SFX: Haegan clatters tools, moves stuff around in a huff as Feston talks.]]

FESTON: Listen, I know we don’t know each other very well just yet. And have I mentioned lately how grateful we are? Because again, just, could not be more appreciative that you joined… well, the crew! Still kinda weird to think about… that like, I’m a captain, and y’all are my crew? Technically? So weird... Anyway, what I’m saying is, you can talk to me. If something is bothering you. Heh, you know, I’m bothering you. Am I bothering you?

HAEGAN: Zai preserve me, boy, if it wasn’t you before, it certainly is now!

FESTON: [hurt] …Oh.

HAEGAN: I’m sorry lad. That wasn’t fair. You’re right, I’ve got some weight on my mind.

FESTON: Okay. Well, I’m here if you wanna talk, is all. Anyway, all I ask is that you leave the drop tethers on a low shelf, we end up needing them a lot more than you think.

[[SFX: Feston turns to leave.]]

HAEGAN: [gathers their resolve] I saw on the Wave this morning. A dust-up near Daedril.

[[MUSIC: Melancholy reflecting tones.]]

FESTON: I saw that. Where is it?

HAEGAN: Little spit of a moon, out past the Trident Nebula... There’s always some local junk-lord who thinks it’ll be a fitting feather in their ruff. My den-cousin, Telto, is out that way. The slaghead is no good in a pinch, terrible instinct for which way to run… but before, I always figured I could go pull them out myself if things popped off.

FESTON: And now slipspace is down.

HAEGAN: And now slipspace is down, yeah.

FESTON: Damn, that is… unlucky in the worst possible way, Haegan. I’m so sorry.

HAEGAN: Well… tossing things about in your cargo hold won’t fix anything, I suppose.

FESTON: Oh I don’t know about that. Sounds like you could use a healthy dose of making sure everything’s tucked away and safe. Don’t you think?

HAEGAN: ...Hmmph. Not bad, Captain.

FESTON: It’s our cargo hold, Haegan. This is your home too, for as long as you want it to be. Put stuff wherever you want! Just, y’know, be gentle. Label things. And don’t forget the–

HAEGAN: The drop tethers. I’m on it boss.

FESTON: Thank you.

[[SFX: Feston leaves. Haegan resumes tidying, but less aggressively.]]

>> Scene 09:

[[SFX: The gang gets settled into a loafing scenario.]]

FESTON: Okay, I know we’re all getting a little cooped up, sooooo I want to thank everyone for agreeing to our first-ever Phase Gravely movie night!! I think it’s just what we need. Everybody settled in? You got snacks? TH, snacks?

HAEGAN: I’ve got my tea, thanks.

PROXY: [bloips] I was doubtful of moving a couch onto the command deck, but I must admit it does increase the level of coziness! And I am excited to finally see the StarTripper on-screen.

FESTON: Thank you, Proxy! I would have pitched the couch move for Game Night as well but since no one wants to play Diplomats of Several Lands with me–

SERENA: Okay! So where are we starting?

FESTON: Oh, gotta start with the first one, of course! “The Unthinkable Exploits of Phase Gravely.” It introduces a lot of stuff that you need to know to enjoy later ones. They had a lower budget, but they took it and REALLY went all-out. Okay, here we go!

[[SFX: The movie plays intense action-type music.]]

PHASE GRAVELY: Now, I don’t want anyone to panic, but if you’re listening to this message, it means… I’m probably dusted somewhere. That being said, you’re gonna have a real time provin’ it!

FESTON: Ugh, YES! So good. And then, ohh oh and then and then–

[[SFX: Onscreen, Phase revs the engine. Something explodes, and the ship zooms through.]]

SERENA: [laughs]

FESTON: HAHA! Hell yeah.

PHASE GRAVELY: Can’t believe they’re payin’ me to do this!

HAEGAN: Is this really what the kids are into these days? Zai return…

SERENA: It’s like, dumb... but kind of good dumb? I dunno, I’m kinda feelin it. We’ll see where it goes.

HAEGAN: Mm-hmm…

[[SFX: Onscreen, Phase is hit and an alarm blares.]]

PHASE GRAVELY: Kak and damn, the stabilizer intake! We’re spinning out!

PROXY: “Stabilizer intake?” Intaking what? That’s not a part of my flight systems.

FESTON: Yeah Prox, it’s just for the movie.

[[SFX: Onscreen, an explosion.]]

FESTON: Oh kak!

HAEGAN: Boy, haven’t you seen this before?

SERENA: Yeah, like eighty times?

FESTON: Well yeah, but it’s fun to get into it!

PHASE GRAVELY: We’re gonna get sucked under! Krum, you better hold onto something!

PROXY: Nonsense, all he needs to do is veer off port or starboard, or even pull a Sun-Side Slip. That war-machine is moving in a straight line.

FESTON: Shh, Proxy, just keep watching!

[[SFX: Onscreen, an explosion. Phase pulls into a nosedive and crashes. Dramatic music plays.]]

PHASE GRAVELY: Engine one’s bust!

PROXY: Well that’s what happens when you push the generator to red-line after taking plasma fire. He should have re-routed weapon power back to avionics.

FESTON: Phase isn’t really that subtle of a guy.

PROXY: Then he shouldn’t be upset when the conduits blow out!

FESTON: He’s a hard-charging dude with half a brain, a couple of blasters, and he’ll fly this dumb ship any way he feels like! Phase Gravely, baby!

[[SFX: Awkward silence.]]

PROXY: “Dumb ship,” huh?

FESTON: No, c’mon Prox, that’s not what I meant. Like how his ship is dumb, and your version is smart! Just come watch the movie!

PROXY: No thank you. I should get back to monitoring vital systems. Enjoy your film.

[[SFX: Proxy bloops away in a huff.]]

HAEGAN: …Brutal. [sips tea]

[[MUSIC: Dazed chimes & shamisen.]]

>> Scene 10:

[[SFX: The hallway. Feston walks up to the bathroom door, humming to himself. He presses a button to open a door. It doesn’t open.]]

FESTON: Hmm…

[[SFX: He presses the button again… nothing. A third time… still nothing.]]

FESTON: Uh, hey Prox, will you open th–?

[[SFX: The door slides open.]]

FESTON: Oh. Okay.

[[SFX: He walks in and turns on the shower. He takes off & hangs a robe, and steps into the stream. It burns him.]]

FESTON: YEOWCH! That’s hot… What’s going on with the water? Better tell Haegan. I’ll shower later, I guess.

[[SFX: Feston turns off the water, wraps up in a robe.]]

FESTON: Gonna take a look at the charts for today…

[[SFX: Feston heads up to the flight deck. He sits in the pilot chair, which clunks to the ground.]]

FESTON: Hmm…

[[SFX: FESTON adjusts the seat, but now it’s too high.]]

FESTON: Okay...

[[SFX: Another adjustment, and now FESTON is too low again.]]

FESTON: GAH! Come on, what is this? Proxy?

PROXY: [bwoip] Yes Feston?

FESTON: Can I get a diagnostic of the hospitality systems pl–

PROXY: Hospitality systems are in perfect working order.

FESTON: Uh… okay… well, then what is the deal, Prox?

PROXY: “The deal,” Feston?

FESTON: Well if nothing’s wrong with the systems, then the Wave of Slight Inconveniences makes it pretty obvious that you’re mad at me. What gives?

PROXY: Oh, nothing to worry about. You know how old, “dumb ships” like this one can be, always in need of maintainance. My stabilizer intake must be misaligned!

[[MUSIC: Pizzicato strings.]]

FESTON: You’re still mad about the other night!

PROXY: Yes. I expressed legitimate logistical & representational concerns about the depiction of the StarTripper in Phase’s films. Erroneous concepts that could lead to real injuries! You brushed them off as the objections of a pedant.

FESTON: Wow, okay! Prox, you were bagging on my favorite movie! Without that movie, you and I never would have met, y’know!

PROXY: I know, and I know how much the movie means to you, but I am surprised you regard it with more respect than your crew!

FESTON: I… hmm ...I’m sorry, Prox. You’re right. Of course your feelings are more… [it hurts] more important to me than Phase Gravely.

PROXY: Thank you, Feston.

FESTON: You’re my best friend, y’know? I just wanted to share my favorite movies with you. And sure, they have a bunch of problems, what movie doesn’t? But there’s a lot to love in them, too.

PROXY: Well, I’m sorry I got so defensive… and pedantic about your favorite movies, Feston.

FESTON: I can’t believe I took a dumb movie’s side over yours. Still friends?

PROXY: Of course, Feston.

[[SFX: The chair auto-adjusts to the optimal height.]]

FESTON: And, uh… Remind me never to piss you off again.

PROXY: It’ll be my pleasure!

[[SFX: Friends again.]]

>> Scene 11:

[[SFX: The flight deck. Destination alerts sound.]]

PROXY: [bwoip] Attention crew: we are now beginning our descent towards Hazifont. Thank you for your extreme patience as we made our way, but we are finally at our destination!

FESTON: Taking us under the cloud belt now…

[[SFX: Feston swoops under the clouds. Serena & Haegan enter.]]
[[MUSIC: Floating on air.]]

FESTON: Oh wow, Proxy, it’s beautiful! The way the gas formations swoop and curl like that… wait, are those surfers? CAN YOU SURF CLOUDS HERE?!

PROXY: Yes! And best of all, the unique chemical makeup and pressure gradients in the atmosphere create a kind of neutral buoyancy. No injury is possible if you fall off while learning.

SERENA: Wait, he can’t get hurt trying stupid stuff?? I don’t have to save him, I can just chill out?

PROXY: If “chill out,” is what you’re looking for, might I recommend Hazifont’s renowned colloidal submersion spas?

SERENA: [sigh of delight]

HAEGAN: I wouldn’t mind a soak either, I suppose. Must be on that platform over there. Wow, that’s quite the repulsor array! I wonder if they’d allow me a look?

PROXY: The platforms here are on the cutting edge of zero-point stabilization technology, and receive many travelling scholars. They give three tours a day!

FESTON: Prox, you nailed it, this place is incredible!

PROXY: I hope it was worth the wait.

HAEGAN: I keep trying to tell you folks about the value in the process, but… what a breathtaking place to end up, Proxy. Nice pick!

FESTON: Yeah seriously! Although… should the internal pressure gauges be doing that? I guess we’ve never flown to a gas giant before––

PROXY: I’m detecting a pressure shift, please take caution.

[[SFX: Metal groans and creaks under pressure, until: PING! The Daxxy canisters pop from the pressure and begin to release aerosolized Full-Night Lunawort Solution into the air. An alarm sounds.]]
[[MUSIC: Danger.]]

SERENA: What is that?

HAEGAN: Sounds like it’s coming from the cargo hold–Oh no, it’s that damn Daxxy pallet.

FESTON: What?

HAEGAN: We’re entering the orbit of a gas giant the size of a cold star, naturally as we approach the fluids onboard are gonna shift state, and forgive me if I haven’t memorized the sub… [yawn] sublimation point of Daxxy… Sleepytime… kakking, oh no...

[[SFX: Haegan collapses in a heap.]]

SERENA: Haegan? Hey Haegan, come on, this is no time to… [yawn] to sleep on the job…

FESTON: Y’know what Serena? I’m just gonna… take a little nap…

SERENA: Ugh, stupid Daxxy…

[[SFX: The engines whir louder, in a bad way.]]

PROXY: Oh dear.

[[Transition – the Pontruff home base. The same alarm sounds, and the ship is struggling against an air current, shuddering & rumbling.]]

POLTA: Moms? What’s going on?

TOOPER: I don’t know, Polta. Come here and stay close. Flannee??

FLANNEE: I’m alright Tooper, but we need to find out what’s happening–

PROXY: [bwoip] I believe I can save you some time. Hello Pontruff family, I am Proxy, the ship’s Integrated Assistant. My crew has been rendered unconscious, and my captain has not transferred flight control back to me.

FLANNEE: You… You knew we were here?

PROXY: Yes, of course. I attempted to respect your privacy by not bringing your presence to the attention of my crew, but now I fear I must break the illusion and enlist your help, or we are all doomed.

TOOPER: … Our time to shine, Pontruff clan. Let’s be the best Guests there ever were! Proxy, what do you need us to do?

[[SFX: Transition – back on the flight deck, the Potruffs struggle with the big controls. The ship moans and groans, struggling to keep level.]]

FLANNEE: Darling if you can’t keep us level, the propellor will suck us right in!

TOOPER: I’m doing everything I can, love!

PROXY: I am attempting to execute a Sun-side Slip, but that requires the injection of a catalyzer, which is activated by a button on my console. Can one of you reach it?

FLANNEE: No!

TOOPER: I’ve gotta keep pressure here or we won’t make it…. Polta!

POLTA: [whimper]

TOOPER: Polta, you can do it, come on kiddo!

POLTA: …. Okay! [climbing] You’ve met your match, Nova Serpent! With xyr mighty lance...

[[SFX: Polta climbs the console, flips up, and lands on the button.]]

POLTA: Orello Rex will vanquish you! Hyaah!

FLANNEE / TOOPER / POLTA: Whoaaaaa!

[[SFX: POLTA slams the button. The StarTripper rolls out of danger and comes around for a safe landing. The day is saved!]]

PROXY: Well done Pontruffs! Keep the keel level and I can assist you in bringing us in for a landing. Also, Daxxy canisters are reaching empty in the cargo hold. Increasing atmo scrubbers to 100%…

[[SFX: The AC kicks on and clears the air in the room.]]
[[MUSIC: Relief & joy.]]

>> Scene 12:

[[SFX: A pub.]]

FESTON: Welcome to Hazifont, travelers! We’re coming to you now from the Warm Front, a perfectly charming little pub, at a celebratory dinner! Celebrating not just having reached our destination without killing each other aboard the ship–

SERENA: –Honestly that’s a pretty significant achievement, especially towards the end there–

FESTON: –and surviving an accidental self-gassing with a soporific health tonic–

HAEGAN: –We’re definitely pitching the rest of that pallet, right?–

FESTON: –BUT also celebrating our new friends, the Pontruff family! Without which we would be propellor-chum. Cheers!

HAEGAN: Cheers!

[[SFX: They clink tankards.]]

TOOPER: [through comms, because they are small] Cheers! [drink] Never before have Hosts been so gracious to us!

FLANNEE: We are humbled.

FESTON: It’s the least we can do, tiny pals.

POLTA: I can’t believe I got to help fly the ship!! This is the best day of my life!!

FESTON: Heck yeah kid, live the dream!

[[SFX: Serena pokes a device.]]

FESTON: Hey Serena, you okay?

SERENA: What? Oh, yeah. I’m just checking the news feeds. There’s gotta be SOME news about slipspace…

FESTON: If there’s news, they’ll broad-wave us. C’mon, relax, we made it! You’ve been on the feeds every minute of the past couple of days.

SERENA: Yeah yeah, ok…

[[SFX: She continues doomscrolling.]]
[[MUSIC: Thoughtful smooth guitar riffs.]]

FESTON: I think if there’s one thing I’m taking away from this trip, it’s to really try to enjoy what’s in front of you. Whether that’s an afternoon floating on a cloud, or a couple weeks holed up in a cozy space with your whole family. Time together, or time apart. And know too, that wherever you’re at right now, isn’t where you’ll be forever. Alright, that’s gonna about do it for us, so from the Warm Front on Hazifont, I bid you a fond “see you next time…” on STAR–!

[[SFX: Feston accidentally smacks a nearby barstaff, who drops a tray of things.]]

FESTON: Oop! Sorry. My bad, wild arms…

>> Scene 13:

[[SFX: The kitchen, late at night. Serena’s still doomscrolling. Haegan enters.]]

HAEGAN: Ho, Serena. Thought I’d be the only one up this late.

SERENA: Nope.

HAEGAN: Can’t sleep?

SERENA: Yeah… I’m just a little nervous I guess.

HAEGAN: About what?

SERENA: Well, I know we made it to Hazifont intact, barely, but… It’s been like over two weeks and we still haven’t heard anything more from the Traffic Authority.

HAEGAN: Slipspace being down really eats at you, huh?

SERENA: It’s never been down for this long before, not in my lifetime! And sailing the open black is a vulnerable place for a plucky ship like us to be for an extended amount of time. It’s a pirate’s playground, and who knows how bored they’re getting, taking the long road everywhere! It’s just a compounding thing, I guess. I wonder how much longer slipspace can stay broken, and what that means for all of us in the long-term.

HAEGAN: I hear that. The future’s a little bit of dust among the stars, you couldn’t even see it if you tried! As we say back home.

SERENA: Doesn’t seem to bother you very much.

HAEGAN: It bothers me enough. But I don’t see much use in fretting, I guess. I have faith it’ll work out for the best.

SERENA: Faith, huh?

HAEGAN: Yeah faith! Faith in the emergency workers, in the Commonwealth. In the Slipspace Transit System, just a small part of Zai’s grand and unfinishable design.

SERENA: [awkward] Oh… yeah, um…

HAEGAN: Now, don’t go giving me that look! Surely I can’t be the first devout Zaiist you’ve ever come across.

SERENA: No, I’ve met a few. It’s just, our conversations tend to be on the shorter side.

HAEGAN: I’m not here to cram dogma down your gullet, you don’t need to worry.

SERENA: I wasn’t worried, I just… I don’t know. [pause] Can you tell me about it? Your faith in Zai?

HAEGAN: We have the time, I suppose. Hmm, where to begin...

[[MUSIC: Homey folk.]]

HAEGAN: It’s a fairly common practice on Kray, being well-aligned with practical thinkers. After all, every person in every trade adheres to certain rituals. And ours have aligned well with hers, by and by.

Seffra Zai wasn’t a prophet. Certainly not divine by the usual metric. She grew up poor on Latune, made herself an engineer and took to the stars. Then she saw that whole worlds were growing up poor and stunted, like her own. And when she was able to start her own operation, she got to be kind of a busybody. She would show up, give your planet a look, and start bothering decision-makers about the unmet needs of their own people. Pissed one or two of them off, I hardly need mention! In the years before she vanished, it just became a colloquialism around the work crews: “What, are you going to wait for Zai to fix that for you?”

On Kray, I grew up on the stories of her work – the first Slipspace dives, the Long Disarmament, the construction and eventual disaster of the Mind’s Eye Station. If anyone deserves to be memorialized with an entire Commonwealth named after them, it’s her! Her name is so common now, people hardly think about it. We can’t help taking some things for granted, but those who make it a point to follow Zai’s example believe that apathy is the food of ruin, and inaction is the luxury of the dead. We adhere to the truth, that “nothing stays fixed,” and if it did, we wouldn’t be needed.

And so, when something like the slipspace system breaks down… It’s still an opportunity for us to learn how it breaks. How we can make it stronger. How it makes us stronger. Do you see? It’s not always about the system functioning in a perfectly convenient way for every being. It’s about trusting that the process is valuable, that adhering to the process makes us better, in the end. Because so far, it’s the only thing that ever has.

SERENA: …Well I don’t know if I buy it completely, but it did calm me down. Must be why they call you “Tranquil Haegan.”

HAEGAN: What? Oh no, not at all! But that’s a story for another time, hmm?

SERENA: Whuh? I wanna know–

PROXY: [bwoip] Hello crew, I’m sorry to interrupt a nice moment. I just received word from the Commonwealth Traffic Authority that slipspace lanes will be opening up in a matter of ticks!

SERENA: [breathes a huge sigh of relief]

HAEGAN: I’m telling you, Serena, you ought to try having a little faith.

SERENA: Next time slipspace goes down for the entire galaxy, maybe I’ll give it a shot.

PROXY: Truly I hope that is a long time away. However, this does make for a much stronger ending for the latest podcast episode. Do you think I should wake Feston?

HAEGAN: Feh, let the boy sleep. We can handle it, what do you say Serena?

SERENA: Wha…. [frustrated sigh] okay. Um, so, yeah… travelers… slipspace is back open! And that’s good. But for a while it wasn’t.

HAEGAN: Times such as these force us to contend with the things that make us feel powerless. We all know now what it means to wait without certainty. But faith and contentment are matters of practice, and if we’re all trying our best to get better, maybe someday we will.

PROXY: It’s an ongoing process, travelers. We hope you’ll keep at it with us. Next time…

PROXY / SERENA / HAEGAN: On StarTripper!!

HAEGAN: Hah! That’s good fun, eh?

SERENA: Ugh…

[[MUSIC: “Wild Plain” outro]]

– END –

CREDITS: StarTripper!! was created by Julian Mundy, hey that’s me! And produced by Mischa Stanton, Ian McQuown, and me.

“Living In Space” was written, directed & sound designed by Mischa Stanton, with a story by Mischa Stanton & Ian McQuown, and performances by Ian McQuown as Feston, Sierra Shay as Proxy, Sammi Lappin as Serena, Chijioke Williams as Haegan, Sena Bryer as Tooper, Angélique Roché as Flannee, Tunisha Hubbard as Polta, and Jesse Abbott Chin as Phase Gravely. Recorded at a safe, social distance, with production help from Lauren Shippen & Evan Cunningham. Music by Ketsa. For more check out ketsamusic.com. Additional music this episode by Daniel Birch, Soularflair, Blue Sky Moon, and One Man Book.

Check us out on the Wave at StarTripperHQ.com, for transcripts, merch, and links to subscribe on your pod-bank of choice. Or on social media, @StarTripperHQ, where we love sharing fanart & show-related stuff. Need the most recent announcements or updates? Our Twitter feed is the best place to look.

If you want to support the show, and are in the position to do so, you can find us on Patreon -- that’s patreon.com/startripper. Even a regular one-dollar pledge helps us immensely to keep making cool shows for you, which we would love to keep doing!

Thank you for flying with us! And for sending in your StarTrip Survival Tips.

This one’s from Anne Simeon: “Never underestimate comfort when grabbing some sleep. Use what's nearby as a pillow to up your nap game-- just make sure it isn't sentient first.”

Here’s one from Alan Walker: “Walk without rhythm, the accountants depend upon it.”

And from Razzmic Opera: “As delicious as it may sound, space travellers should avoid spaghettification at all costs. Might I instead recommend a pasta maker?”

Stay safe out there travelers!